Anything Can Happen on a Boat Ramp

By Marc Rogers

Boat Ramps and Fishing Humor

Several years ago I was fishing at Mark Twain Lake in Northeast Missouri with a fishing buddy and we saw a very funny situation take place while waiting to load my boat at the end of the day. I had just dropped off my buddy at the ramp courtesy dock and back away when an older run-a-bout boat pulled up to the dock and this is when the fun (at their expense) began.

My buddy was going to get my truck/trailer when I noticed one of the three people in the boat were laying on one of the bench seat passed out from drinking to much. He was about a red as a lobster which led me to believe he had been this way for quite some time. It didn’t take me long to realize he was the owner of the boat and the other man and lady were his guests for the day.

Being the owner was in no shape to operate either his boat or tow vehicle it was decided the young lady would be the one to back the trailer down the ramp to load the boat. As it would happen she was the vehicle just in front of my buddy on the ramp so we got the pleasure of watching her attempt to back the trailer down the ramp on a busy week end afternoon. The high volume of traffic and her having little to no experience backing a trailer made it worse.

After several attempts while blocking the whole three lane ramp she became frustrated and yelled several bad words at her boyfriend/husband. He too got mad and decided to try to load the boat on the trailer once she finally got it in the water. However, the trailer was about a 45 degree angle from the water line so he gave up after several attempts because he continued to hit a sea wall with the boat located on the edge of the ramp.

Tempers were high and he had enough with her inability to back a trailer so he jumped from the front of the boat to back the trailer himself. The problem was he forgot the ramp surface is very slick so his feet were only on the ramp for about 1/4 of a second and then his rear end landed on the concrete ramp with a thud. He acted like it didn’t hurt but I would bet he didn’t walk right for several days after this eventful day.

At this time as my buddy was pulling me out of the water the two others changed positions and she took control of the boat. We thought we had seen the last of them but this wasn’t the case.

While tying down my boat on the ramp parking lot I heard the sound of an outboard motor running and it was getting closer every second. Being we were about 300 yards from the water it caught my attention. Around the corner of the lot came the two again. The young lady was driving the boat while the drunk owner was still passed out in the bottom. Yes, I said driving the boat because she was turning the steering wheel of the boat like she had control the the direction it was heading while it was on the trailer and she still had it under the power of the outboard motor. She had failed to turn off the engine and it was getting hot without any water to cool the engine.

Her boyfriend/husband was driving the tow vehicle with the air conditioning on and the windows up so he failed to hear the engine running. He parked right next to me as I was finishing up the tie down process and opened the door and realized the engine was still running. He directed some rather harsh verbal abuse towards the young lady which she didn’t appreciated.

She had such little appreciation for his words she jumped from the boat and began the process of beating him, with all of her strength, about the head and shoulders. My buddy started to laugh but stopped immediately when I reminded him she was angry and may take out the rest of her anger on him.

We left as quickly as we could jump in the truck and never saw them again. I am sure it was a rather quite ride home with little conversation between them. My fishing buddy and I often still wonder if the drunk owner rode home in the boat or if they got him into the car.



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